Which means that what you leave in will say much more about you than about the Bible, which is what I saw in the original version of this.
I wanted to lean over to the writer and whisper into his ear, "Honey, you're hermaneutic is showing."
The bias in the original ditty was all about sin and a very particular approach to redemption. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Well, I was going around the house talking (no, really complaining!) about this when the love of my life looked up from her book and suggested that if I felt so strongly, maybe I could do better, before looking down and turning the page.
I know a challenge when I hear one.
Here's the thing. I believe that each of us has an hermaneutic-- a way to interpret the Bible, or if not the Bible, then a construct as to how the world works. That also means that every one of us has a cosmology and makes faith decisions. We may not be conscious of them, and we may be rotten at living them out, but every single one of us have these lenses through which we view the world...lenses through which we filter and make meaning...lenses through which we make our ethical decisions.
And it doesn't matter if you're the Pope or a pop-atheist, everyone has made those choices!
I think it is a good thing to do an exercise that helps one sort these out. Reducing the Bible to only few hundred words is one of those. Because you are going to leave many important things out. There will many nuances driven around, ignored, or exaggerated. Whole themes of salvation history are going to be ignored, stretched, micro-analyzed. But in the end you will keep what's important to you. And in seeing that, you might learn a little bit of what motivates and drives your life of faith. And perhaps you'll hear how God speaks most clearly to you.
It's a good thing to do, perhaps with the help of a spiritual director, as long as you don't delude yourself into thinking you are developing a new religion or something. And one should be prepared for the fact that you could come back to the exercise in a few years (or months, or days, or hours...), open the journal, and...slap yourself on the forehead for being such a dummy. Which is probably a good sign.
So, using that old internet meme as a framework, here is my take on the Bible in a few hundred words. Now, I'm just waiting for someone to lean over and whisper into my ear "Honey, you're hermaneutic is showing!"
God: All right, I have made earth to flourish and grow in
harmony. Don’t mess up the place. Treat each other well.
Adam & Eve: Okay.
God: Now I’m putting you in charge, so do on earth what
happens in heaven.
Adam & Eve: You can count on us!
Serpent: You can run this place much better than God. Really, you
can!
God: Why are you dressed in those funny clothes?
Adam: Uhm. She made me.
Eve: No way! The serpent did it.
God: Okay, this is going to take a while.
A SIZEABLE CHUNK OF SOME OF THE HEBREW SCRIPTUES:
God: You are my people and I am your God.
People: Hooray! We are mighty chosen nation!
God: Yes. You are. I still want what I have created to show
off what it is like in heaven.
People: And…?
God: So, you are to be a light to the nations. Show everyone
how it’s done.
People: Cool…!
God: And you will do that by how you pay attention to what
is right and how you care for each other.
People: You know this is really hard!
God: You will have good days and bad days. So I will send
some prophets to help you.
People: Gee thanks! …But we have some ideas about how to do
it better than you.
God: Okay, this will take a while.
THE GOSPELS (Part
One):
God: I am coming among you as one of you and I will show you
how I want creation to be like heaven.
People: You can’t do that.
Jesus: I just did.
People: No, you didn’t.
Jesus: By the way, the
kingdom of God is here.
People: No, it’s not.
Jesus: Sure it is. Look around.
People: Huh…. Hey! Tell those people to stop sinning!
Jesus: I forgive you.
People: That’s not what we meant!
Jesus: I know.
People: Stop healing! You’re not doing it right!
Other People: And stop hanging with those people who break
the rules!
Still Other People: Why are you feeding people instead of beating
up the people we hate?
Jesus: Because God loves you.
People: So?
Jesus: So... when you do on earth what God does in heaven, it will challenge and change you.
People: Okay. I think we'll kill you now.
THE GOSPELS (Part
Two); ACTS
Disciples: I thought you were dead.
Jesus: I was.
Disciples: And now you’re alive.
Jesus: Yes, indeed!
Disciples: Whoa!
Jesus: Now go into the world and do on earth what I do in
heaven.
Disciples: Okay. How?
The Holy Spirit: I will baptize you, teach you and guide
you.
Disciples: La La La La! Hallelujah! Amen!
The Holy Spirit: Sounds great! Now get to work!
THE EPISTLES:
The Church: This is really hard. I don’t know what to do!
Paul: Yes, it is. Here’s what you do: Love one another, cut
each other some slack, pray all the time, give thanks for everything, forgive,
be cheerful.
The Church: Just one question. Why?
Paul: Because you represent Jesus, so that people will know that
through Him they can do on earth what God does in heaven.
James: Do good and show what you believe.
Peter: Tell the story of God in your lives.
John: And don’t forget to love one another!
The Church: This is
really, really hard!
Paul: Okay, this will take a while.
REVELATION:
John the Divine: All these churches and all these different
nations -- and no one is getting it right!
God: I know. Isn’t it great?
John the Divine: I think you should knock heads and take
names.
God: Well, I suppose I could do that.
John the Divine: Cool. Can I watch?
God: How about if I bring heaven and earth together instead?
John the Divine: Oh boy! I can’t wait! Will there be fire
and brimstone?
God: It sure won’t be easy.
John the Divine: And will there be dragons and lakes filled
with fire?
God: Well, maybe, but…
John the Divine: …But…?
God: How about if I bring my temple to earth? We’ll gather
everyone around my throne and we’ll have this big feast and sing a lot and we’ll
do on earth what happens in heaven!
John the Divine: Oh…yeah! Much better!
God: I thought so, too.
THE END
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