Advent: the antidote to wanting want when we want it

A long time ago, in a small town far, far away, I was a young priest learning how to be a hospital chaplain and during that time, I kept watch by night over a flock of young men. I worked the night shift in a drug and alcohol residential rehab facility as a kind of shepherd for the men aged 18-35 who were working their recovery the hard way.

One of the young men I encountered was named Joey. (Not his real name.) He was a wiry, athletic kid in his mid-twenties, about 5’ 4”, with a ready smile and quick wit. He was also a petty thief, who was always working an angle, and, of course, he was an addict who was clean but still stuck in many of his addictive behaviors that helped him survive the street. 

At this program residents stayed six months or more and earned their way to leadership and graduation through group and individual treatment, 12-step programs, and successfully living in community while learning to live life clean and sober.  Most were at the end of their prison sentences and success meant either probation or a half-way house, but failure meant return to jail or, should the infraction be severe enough, re-arrest and an extended prison sentence.

I worked the third shift, and that meant staying up all night while they slept (or were supposed to) doing bed-checks, spot drug tests, and keeping their charts in order. And every morning, I awakened and supervised the guys assigned to make breakfast and then ate with them and shepherded them into their daily routine as the rest of the staff rolled in. 

And every morning, there was Joey. And every morning, he’d look down the table at breakfast and say: “Hello. My name is Joey and I want what I want when I want it. Please help me.” Then, after a brief pause he’d ask for what he needed like, “Can you please the toast?”

This ritual was imposed on him by the other house residents because while Joey was a really sweet kid, he was always working an angle. He was a petty (but terrible) thief, and a creative but not-so-accomplished liar, both of which arose from a fundamental impatience and, as I said, life on the street. Whenever he’d interrupt, cut in line, take some food before it was his turn, or be late for some group or appointment, he’d just look at you and grin “Carpe diem, man! Carpe diem!” Well, what he called seizing the day was just plain annoying, and it was at the root of his addiction. And he was often called out on it.

His group therapy peers kept calling him out for doing stupid stuff. They banned him from saying “carpe diem” – ever! They made him eat last. Once, they made him trim a hedge with fingernail scissors. And when he got antsy, people in the House would shout out, as if he were a dog being trained, “Wait for it!” Finally, his peer group required that when Joey wanted something—anything!—he always had to ask first, but before he could ask he had to preface his request with this:

“Hello, my name is Joey. I want what I want when I want it! Please help me!”

I don’t know if this little litany helped Joey, but it sure made an impression on me! I have never forgotten it! In a way, Joey taught the centrality of hope and importance of waiting. I don’t know whatever became of Joey but I think of him every Advent.

That’s because we all have a problem waiting. We live in a world that teaches us to be impatient. Every day we are taught to want what we want when we want it, and how to get it, grab it, keep it, and run away with it and tell everyone that we have it!

We have as a culture moved from “wait for it!” to “I want what I want when I want it” just that fast! Is there help for us?

We begin a new Church year in the heart of Matthew’s Gospel.  He writes to mainly Jewish Christians who lived in a Gentile world, increasingly cut off from their Jewish kin because they followed Jesus as Messiah and the Church was filling with Gentile converts. But that was okay, because in the early Church pretty much everybody was certain that Jesus would come back very soon in glory and judge the world. But no one knew when. In fact, today’s Gospel highlights that even Jesus did not know when the end of history would be!

This passage has also given rise to some strange but widespread theories about the end times. Lots of Christians assume that God will just scoop up all the true believers and the church will have to start over again during a time of persecution. There is nothing in the Bible that supports the idea of “a rapture.”

Instead of giving us a date and time, and stealing us away, Jesus tells us that the Kingdom of God is here now, and that we are to stay alert, stay awake, and be ready. For the Christian, waiting does not mean sitting on our thumbs or checking out of history or reading the tea leaves. Waiting means doing the things that faithful people do: to learn and do the work of Jesus in community, to be merciful, care for the poor and the sick and the outcast.

The Gospel warns us to avoid the temptation of “I want what I want when I want it,” which is as bad as the temptation to say “my way of the highway!” We are cautioned against looking for quick fixes—to jump on some political, messianic, or even material band wagon that promises to take away all our pain or give us all the power.

This is the tension of Advent. The culture tells us to satisfy our every want right now. The culture tells us that to be happy must craft the perfect holiday that will create the perfect family without blemish, pain or conflict. We are told that if only we pay enough money, acquire enough things, or organize our lives perfectly, it will all fall into place.  The culture says we want what we want when we want it.

But Jesus says instead “wait for it!” And God gives us the tools to stay awake and be ready. In our sacramental living we see that God transforms ordinary things, like bread, wine, water, even time, into holy things that changes lives. In Christian community, we are given the companions and support to stay faithful and strong. In choosing to act mercifully, we find that what feeds the heart is not so much what we get as what we give.

Advent is a time to make ready for the coming of Jesus into our hearts, the coming of Christ into our world. At the same time we live in a world that is caught up in the holiday frenzy. How to navigate the apparent contradiction? Well, one option would be to go into a monastery or fly to a desert island for the next month. But even monks have to go to the store.  Jesus never told us to hide from the world, but to look past it.

I suggest that we re-frame our approach to Advent. Think of this as a time of getting ready as daily spiritual practice. Just as in Lent, where we tithe our year to practice holiness, think of Advent as a tithe of our time to practice readiness.

For the society, this period from Thanksgiving through the Super Bowl is what I call “the Great Winter Festival.” So there are Christmas songs about dancing snow men and idyllic winter scenes (even in Florida!) There will be holiday parties, and calls to volunteer “in the spirit of the holidays.” Some Christians get grumpy about this, they say that we are forgetting “the reason for the season.”

Perhaps. But I suggest that we welcome it precisely because this season has a double meaning for us Christians. We have the chance to do now what we are called to do all the time. And why should we grumble about people celebrating, giving gifts, and singing songs? I think that instead of raining on people’s parades, we can appreciate the desire to celebrate. And by our charity, we can demonstrate to a hurting world that in Christ God provides all of what we really want: peace, purpose, hope, companionship, meaning and direction. 

For us Christians, Advent is the season where we await God coming to us in the person of Jesus. So watch. Be ready. Keep doing the things faithful people do. Take a moment to step out of the noise and listen for God and catch a glimpse that waiting is rewarded. Remember that God is present now and so we know there is a tomorrow.  We have been given second chances over and over again. Jesus is Emmanuel, “God is with us,” so we know that God has come, God is with us now, and God will come again. We are not alone. We have a living hope that gives us life.

And that living hope gives us what we really need exactly as we need it when we need it.

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Scripture for the First Sunday of Advent, November 30, 2025,St. Chad's Episcopal Church, Tampa, Florida 

Learn more about the Diocese of Southwest Florida here

Here is the bulletin for the First Sunday of Advent, November 30, 2025, St. Chad's Episcopal Church, Tampa, Florida.