Prefering Christ One Bite at a Time!

‘Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you.” James 3:7-8a

Lent teaches us many things. One thing it teaches us is that there is often great truth children’s riddles. Like this one:

“How do you eat an elephant?”

“One bite at a time!”

Life is complicated and we yearn to make things simpler. But life still happens! All the things that life requires… from paying bills to getting a good night’s sleep, from work to relationships, from shopping to keeping up with family… don’t go away just because we are busy.

The modern drive towards being “productive” is nice but only takes one so far. In modern parlance, they became more “productive” …doing more in the same time slot… doesn’t always afford us more time to do the things we love. Instead we fill the time with more things…period. And so we feel tired, stressed and frazzled.

So what to do?

The starting place, for me, begins with an axiom that comes from the Rule of St. Benedict, in which he says to “prefer nothing to Christ.” Benedict’s instruction comes from the writings of Cyprian, third century bishop in North Africa, who followed the statement with these words: “for he has preferred nothing to us.”

The Rev. Jane Tomaine writes in her book The Benedictine Toolbox:

What a stunning truth—that Jesus has preferred nothing, that’s nothing, to each of us, unworthy though we are. Jesus revealed this in his Farewell Discourse when he said, “You did not choose me, but I chose you” (John 15:16a). Perhaps preferring Christ above all else is the only way that you and I can begin to fulfill the Gospel directive to love one another. In the Gospel of John Jesus tells us that those who love him will keep his word, and he and his Father will come and make a home with each of us (John 14:23). When we are a part of such a household we can turn outward and walk on the path of healing and reconciliation as did Jesus.

So, what does “preferring Christ” actually look like? Well, I am learning as I go here, but here is what I’ve observed so far:

First things first. Do the things that care for your health and your soul first. The first thing that tends to go out the window when we are busy is our time for prayer, however we structure it. The start of the day is a chance to align one’s thoughts, heart and body towards God. Maybe setting up a little prayer at the night table that we’ll see first thing on waking up or maybe on the door to the fridge or the bathroom mirror…some place where you already look might help. The same is true for exercise. Taking a little time to be in motion is also a great time to center your thoughts and pray. I have also learned (a little bit anyway) that the little moments that might make me feel impatient, like standing in line at a grocery store or being on hold or sitting in traffic, can become free moments of unplanned solitude; a moment to breathe a little, pray a little, look around a little.

Go gently. Don’t be so hard on yourself. In our society today, no matter how productive we might be there is always someone telling us to do more! Do what you do well. For me, this also means don’t over-promise, which manages to avoid disappointment from others and frustration with myself. One of the great joys of doing this work is that I don’t have to do it alone. I am learning once again for the first time how to share responsibilities in way that both relieves my load and, much more importantly, expands our capacity to minister. When I forget something or make a mistake, I learn from it, pray over it, listen to what it is teaching me and then move on.

Take yourself lightly. A few years ago, I went to my town’s local amphitheater to see four comedians perform at a community street fair. As I was sitting in the crowd, the mayor, who was emceeing the event, spotted me from the stage and said “Oh, hi Pastor!” My goose was cooked! I was fair game for three of the next four comics who performed! This was a useful lesson: don’t take yourself too seriously because if you can’t laugh at yourself then others surely will.

One bite at a time! This is where the child’s riddle comes in. My mother used to tell me, in an attempt to get me stop wolfing down my food at the table, to never try to gulp down anything bigger than your head. Segmenting problems into bite-sized chunks helps us not be overwhelmed by the size of the project or the number of obstacles.

Be Present. There’s an old Bill Mauldin cartoon from World War II where three muddy soldiers are marching along a road. Willy tells Joe, as they march behind the third soldier, “Poke ‘em will ya? He’s snoring!” When life is overwhelming it is easy to just fall into a rut and just put one foot in front of the other and lose consciousness. As Orthodox Archbishop and spiritual writer Anthony Bloom says, “If you cannot find God in this moment, you will never find him at all!”

Practice, practice, practice! 

There’s another old joke with great wisdom, about the tourist visiting New York who asks a musician “How do you get to Carnegie Hall?” The musician replies, “Practice! Practice! Practice!” 

It may surprise you to learn that from the time I was small, I have had this tendency to expect myself to be perfect at something on the very first attempt. Well, the only thing that teaches is how to give up!

For many years, I have been taking voice lessons, and my vocal coach has taught me not only about good practice, but about how to be present to myself. After doing an exercise or singing a piece, she will ask me “How does that feel?” Good practice increases self-awareness in a useful way.

I have learned that practice is about training, learning how something feels, and learning the steps towards a good performance. It is also about learning when and how to ask for help. Getting useful feedback and talking together about how something might work not only makes for a better performance but also builds community, confidence and collegiality.

None of this is particularly new. It shows up in Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount, in the Rule of St. Benedict, and all through the Psalms and in Proverbs. Both Buddhist stories and the Hassidic Tales from Judaism are filled with these lessons, too. What I am learning again is how to practically and usefully prefer Christ in all things.

Mother Tomaine sums it up this way:

When we prefer Christ we do anti-world things like loving one another for Christ’s sake. We “cut some slack” with one another, being patient and forgiving, recognizing that we also have growing edges. We ease up on being judgmental, we accept our sisters and brothers in the faith and beyond our faith, acknowledging our oneness in creation. We try to choose his way and not the way that may burn within us. 

As Joan Chittister says, “Benedictine spirituality is about caring for the people you live with and loving the people you don’t and loving God more than yourself.”

When we prefer Christ we choose him over another. We choose his way over other ways even when—especially when!—life is crazy busy! I am coming to learn that “preferring nothing but Christ” is looking for the holy in this moment; it is seeking Christ’s face in the people God sends us every day and to seek God’s presence in the ordinary things all around us. And, as Benedict says, “Always we begin again.”

How do we go about “preferring nothing to Christ?” Live one bite at a time!